Staph Meeting

That's the way I always spell it in my head whenever I say the phrase out loud.  But as much as I want to make snarky comments about the staff meeting I went to tonight, the truth is that the school's meetings will probably be the nicest ones I will ever be forced to attend.  So to celebrate that, I am going to make a list of reasons why tonight's staff meeting was great and definitely better than yours.

REASONS WHY TONIGHT'S STAFF MEETING WAS GREAT AND DEFINITELY BETTER THAN YOURS:

- The meeting started at 6:30, so we were all given free Chipotle and gourmet cupcakes for dinner.
- One of the teachers decorated the table as if we were going to a fancy dinner party: silver doily place mats, a shiny snowflake linen tablecloth, silver centerpieces, and blue starry decorative wire stuff wound through the middle of everything.  We also had color-coordinated water bottles and iced tea.  So posh.
- It had a theme.  WINTER MAGIC.  Because we teachers are the magic, and every child has magic in them (I suggested harvesting the children for their magic and selling it for a huge profit on the black market, but my idea was shot down).
- We spent a good half-hour just sitting and gossiping about the kids.  Who's on medication, who needs medication, and all the times we wish we could just smack 'em.
- Other topics discussed included lingerie and fuzzy handcuffs, my boyfriend, breasts, and drugs.  Not all in the same conversation.  Perks of working with all women.
- We were given goody bags.  GOODY BAGS FOR GOING TO A MANDATORY STAFF MEETING.  Despite what I usually say, teaching rocks.  I get fees waived and free checks at the bank because I teach.  Of course, it helped that the man who opened my account is married to a kindergarten teacher, too.
- Did I mention we had free Chipotle?  Looking forward to that carried me through the entire week.

The only thing missing was booze.

Get ready for the Christmas party.

Image via Employment Edification.