Today I dropped the last bite of my Snickers bar on the ground. Making sure nobody was around to see my shame, I picked it up, brushed it off, and ate it. And as I did I wondered how many people were, at that moment, quickly retrieving their own food from the ground before the five-second rule became null and void. A dusty Dorito, perhaps? A sandy Skittle? Maybe even a bit of linty lasagna from the plush, carpeted dining room floor. One might think that a strange sense of solidarity would wash over me at that moment as I realized my connectedness with so many others who have no dignity.
But it didn't.
I slowly realized how many germs I'd put in my mouth and I wished I hadn't done it.
Welcome to the drudgery bin.