22.6.11

Dear Wedding, Style, and Design Blogs:



To "compliment" something means to tell it that it looks nice, or that its personality glows like a shining star.

To "complement" something means to complete it, or to combine with it in such a way as to enhance or emphasize its qualities.

So you can compliment someone on their table runners, which are so complementary to the color of the napkins.  If you're going to write about color schemes in any capacity, please learn the difference between these two words, unless you get a kick out of making your readers' heads explode.

Fond regards,
Tracy Thunderbolt.

PS: While you're at it, maybe brush up on the differences between its/it's and lead/led.  You're the best, thanks.



Image by O-Akascha-O, via deviantart.

15.6.11

Night and Day




If I could manage to conduct a normal life on a nocturnal sleep cycle, I would.  However, since I'm pretty sure many people would disagree with me, I have created a pros and cons list of daytime activities, for your viewing pleasure (if you do agree that night is better, use these lists to further our cause to all the haters):

DAY
    
    Pros:
  • Picnics
  • Thievery is difficult (applies to Owners of Things)
  • Adequate vision 
  • Business can be conducted during these hours (unless you are a drug dealer)
  • Tanning, warmth
  • Flowers bloom
   Cons:
  • Thievery is difficult (applies to robbers)
  • Alarm clocks
  • Work (does not apply to night watchmen)
  • Chores (could apply to night watchmen)
  • That hour in late afternoon, approximately 4:30-5:30, when pulling on socks becomes the worst thing in the world
  • Sleeping during this time places people under the category of old person, invalid, bum, and/or infant.
  • Sunburn, sweat, risk of skin cancer
  • Lack of romantic mood lighting on outdoorsy dates
  • Crowded sidewalks
  • Being active during the day is so mainstream (applies to hipsters)
  • Traffic
  • No raccoons 
  • No owls
  • No nocturnal animals at all, including but not limited to bats
  • Glow-in-the-dark chalk is pointless

I could go on, but I believe I've made my point.  Good night to you.



Image via Francesco Bonomi.

2.6.11

Harry Potter and the Literary Hipster



This article, written by Jonathan Myerson and published in The Independent, is "meant to" offend adults who read Harry Potter.  I guess I'm not really a part of his target audience, as I was younger than Harry is in the first book when I first started reading it; Harry was a part of my childhood, and I am just dipping my little toesies into adulthood.  Surely I am beyond reproach.  However, full-fledged, card-carrying grown-ups do not receive the same kindness from Myerson, who suggests that adults read such classic literature as his own, faaar more relevant adult novels - not trash like Rowling's childish ventures (hmm, yes, how droll).  Apparently, Myerson considers appropriate reading material for adults to be novels with covers that look like they're straight out of a crack whore's nightmare.*

I know this article ran in 2001 - only about a month after Prisoner of Azkaban came out - so he couldn't have had a chance to see the series develop a greater moral complexity and depth as it explores serious and universal issues. Still, I sincerely doubt that the man had even read the first three books before flippantly dashing off this smug little article, probably with a self-satisfied smirk playing about his melting skeleton face (I looked up a picture of him).  Just a fad, he must have scoffed, rolling his eyes and turning back to his Kafka, his Dostoevsky, his Hemingway and Dickens.

I think my favorite part is when he asks his hypothetical, just-as-snooty readers, "So how do these grown-ups manage to get through it?"

I only wish I could muster the level of pretension that Mr. Myerson achieves here.  I tip my hat to you, you big jackass.




*I do admit that I have never read his books and that I literally am judging a book by its cover.  I have become a walking cliche.


Image via The Mady Hatter.