The 5 Worst Christmas Movies

Disclaimer:  I don't really care if you agree with this list or not.  I only speak the truth.

#5:  Jingle All the Way

 I cannot tell you how many times I had to suffer through this movie during high school.  Actually, that's not true at all--it was four times.  But we usually ended up watching it in multiple classes, so who knows how many times I had to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger squabble over a toy. Each time we watched this movie, it added what felt like eighty more years to the week before Christmas break.

#4:  Home Alone 2

A lot of my least favorite movies are slapstick.  If Baby's Day Out were a Christmas movie, it would be number 1 on this list.  Not even cute, baby-face Macaulay Culkin can save this movie.

(Saving grace: When the little blonde girl says to Kevin, "You're what the French call, les incompetents."  I like a joke that takes me years to get.  It's got staying power.)

#3:  Barbie in The Nutcracker

Ahem. So. Bitch is a prima ballerina now?  What, being a doctor/vet/teacher/businesswoman/flight attendant/tour guide/nurse/astronaut wasn't enough for her?*

This movie would actually make a pretty fun drinking game.  Until that happens, though, it stays on the list.

#2:  It's a Wonderful Life

It isn't that this movie is the most depressing piece of film ever made.  It's the freakishly high voice that chirps out, "Every time a bell rings, an angel...." No, I - I can't finish.  It makes me want to die.

#1:  Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

I hate this movie.  Not even alcohol could save it.

*Interesting tidbit: Barbie has done all these things, but she's never been a mother (if you disagree, you're thinking of Midge).  So I guess she's not such a bad role model, after all.  Notice I said  mother, not pregnant.  You know Ken's the kind of guy who'd raw dog it, and I suspect Barbie's probably a quick hand with a coat hanger.**
**I realize how wrong this is.  But I will never apologize!

Images via Amazon.

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