I FUCKING LOVE THE RAIN, YOU GUYS.
There, that's right.
Maybe it's because I've spent my entire life in Southern California, where rain steals into town in the night like an outlaw or a luxury dog spa; but instead of creating a cozy, romantic, book-cocoa-fireplace atmosphere, the sky wrings itself out while everyone is asleep. We wake up to splotchy sidewalks and soggy newspapers. Not a cloud in sight.
Sometimes I turn on rainy sounds to fool myself into thinking that maybe, just once, I will have an entire day of sweet, puddle-stomping, cuddle-inspiring, Gene-Kelly-impersonating rainstorms. But that never happens.* It has been one of the great sorrows of my life.
|This will never be me.|
However, I've learned that the weather, like everything else in this jaded world, has a price. One night I left my phone charging on the window sill, then put on my headphones and read for a little while in bed. Half an hour later, my mom came into the room with the house phone and asked why I was calling.
"I'm not..." I replied, but when I looked over to where my phone was sitting, I found that rain was streaming in through the open window and pooling on the window sill so that my phone was drowning. I can only assume that after I coldly ignored its plight, the phone took matters into its own hands by calling the house for help.
The internal speaker never worked after that, but I think that was less because of mechanical problems and more out of resentment on the part of my phone.
Last weekend, I tested my theory. Rain that was predicted for the morning still hadn't made an appearance by 2 in the afternoon. So, I gathered up my coffee, a bag of trail mix, and my laptop and went out on the porch to enjoy a lovely afternoon snack under a close, gray sky. Just as I took a sip of coffee, the first, small raindrops began dotting my keyboard. Right on time.
The weather forecast claims it's going to rain tomorrow. One hundred percent chance as of 11:10 tonight, and it's scheduled to start at 0900 hours. But I know how these things go. I've been hurt before by false promises - mistakes, they say. Nobody's perfect, they tell us. We're only weathermen; we can't be right all the time. And besides, this is California...if you don't like the sunshine, move to Seattle.
Well, I'm not taking any chances this time. My heart can't handle being hurt again. If the rain wants a sacrifice, then a sacrifice it will get. Tonight I'm going to leave my external hard drive outside on the porch ledge, taunting the clouds to let forth a torrential downpour and destroy the tasty morsel of digital memory. This hard drive contains all of my pictures, music, and documents - including my senior thesis - and I haven't had a chance to transfer everything back onto my computer after I upgraded to Windows 7. The rain wouldn't be able to resist such a sleek, valuable bit of technology. No doubt such a gift would afford us a whole day of rain, plus scattered showers continuing into Monday morning.
I just really hope that the rain doesn't actually start until 9, because I'll be awake and able to rescue the hard drive by the time more than a few drops land on it. I like rain, but downloading 12,000 songs again would really blow.
*One time I even saw a lightning storm with no rain. True story.
Image via Tumblr.