I'm pretty sure the next big thing in the blogosphere will be Elaborate Event Planning: Funerals Edition.  Within the next two years, funerals are expected to overtake weddings as The Affair in a person's life.  These projections are not surprising - after all, not everyone gets married; everyone dies.  In fact, at this very moment, bloggers all across the interwebs may be receiving emails from respected photographers featuring dreamy shots of elegant funerals: dappled sunlight playing across the brave yet peaceful faces of the mourners, some of whom may be lifting a delicate, lace handkerchief to wipe a single tear from under a tasteful, black birdcage veil.  The golden glow of afternoon sunlight glinting off a polished, oak casket as a single white rose is tossed gently into the frame from an unseen hand.  Instead of the usual black, some planners may offer a charcoal color scheme, and, naturally, artsy goth will be all the rage.  And what could be more appropriate for an October death, one might ask, than a Dia de los Muertos theme?  So chic.

You should have seen the invitation suite.

Then, of course, there will be the DIY, f-the-funeral-industrial-complex group, who just want to send their loved ones off with a bang and throw a kick-ass party in their memory.  Because after all, what matters at the end of the day is that you've buried the one you love.  And danced your faces off.

So, in anticipation of this trend, I will be forming a 90s cover band called Dust2Dust, just to get a jump on the funeral circuit, you know?

Our condolences.

A sample set list, in case you're wondering:

- "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
- "Killing Me Softly"
- "Who Will Save Your Soul"

and, for a little cheek, a rousing chorus of "Haunt Me Baby One More Time."  I think we're gonna be big.

Images via Death, Modernity, and Public Policy; Vampire Freaks.

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