How the Tables Have Turned

Well, it's Saturday night, and my mother is going to a cancer fundraiser/Oktoberfest party so she can watch a band, like a starry-eyed, teenage girl.  She also brought cookies as a hostess gift, because my grandma raised her right.

The secret ingredient is love.  The other secret is marijuana!

Meanwhile, I am taking over all the little household duties: cooking dinner, setting the table, ironing the clothes, mopping the floor, washing the windows, shaking the rugs, turning the mattresses, feeding the livestock, cleaning the stables, putting my little sisters to bed, singing them to sleep and soothing their worried brows as they wait bravely - but oh, the sadness in their eyes! - for their absent mother to return home to them.  I've also decided to make all my sisters adorable little rompers and dresses out of the drapes.

We put on these outfits and now we can sing!  I think the secret is marijuana!

I'm just kidding, of course.  My hard-workin' mama deserves a night out after raising six wily daughters.  Besides, I'm not really taking care of the littl'uns.  I roasted some chicken and tore up a few lettuce leaves for them; they can handle the rest well enough.  For the rest of the evening, I will be perfecting my shuffling and brushing up on my "Single Ladies" moves.  After all, wedding season is almost over; I gotta keep my skills sharp.  This ain't no YMCA.

I know I'm super late to the party (I didn't even mean to do that!), but I can't stop watching this.  Did you see the guy land on his elbow?!  The shuffling is in my bones!

PS:  Dear Interwebs, the phrase is "Every day I'm shufflin'," not "Commonplace I'm shufflin'."  There's a space.  That is all.

PPS:  I apologize for my grammatical sass.  I think it's a sickness.  I do not apologize!  You cannot make me!  I will bully the internet into writing correctly, or else I will just wear out my exclamation point key while nobody reads this blog and goes on degrading the English language until I have a conniption and die!  That'll show 'em!!

No comments:

Post a Comment