Wedding Woes

Let me start this off by saying that I have no desire to be married: not now, not in the foreseeable future* - which is a real shame.  You know...aesthetically speaking.

I mean, a lot of nice trends are happening right now, like cutesy-pants DIY projects.  And cupcakes.  Increasing amounts of glitter.  Twinkle lights.  Photobooths.  Bonfires.  Outdoor ceremonies.  And other things.  Though I could do without the mustache mania and the jumping-bridal-party pictures that just won't roll over and die.

...Alright, some of those aren't really trends.  People have been getting married outside and making their own dessert tables for a long time.  But who knows what weddings of the future will be like?  In the next ten years, the blogosphere could be raving about Labyrinth-inspired affairs, with robo-fficiants and space honeymoons.

The future has begun.

 But surely, this can't become a reality.  What will the guests eat?  Dehydrated chicken-or-fish packets?  Buttercream-frosted cake capsules?  I don't even want to think about the kind of bizarre, synthesized beats DJ Roomba will be layin' down.

Almost makes a girl want to grab the first person she sees and elope right now, before her only choice is to get hitched on a drunken, giggly trip to Space Vegas.

Hang a sign and tin cans off that getaway car.  Ship.  Whatever.

 *Of course, the foreseeable future generally extends to next Tuesday in my mind.

 Images via Discovery Channel; Magical Mouse Pad.

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